Touch of Evil, what a shame...

It’s official: Touch of Evil is no touch of genius. Geoff and I saw it at the Greenwich Picturehouse the other night and I think overall we both came away disappointed by it. A few good scenes here and there, the expected camera angles, shadowy bits, all the tried, tested and loved clichés of the noir genre, but considering the stellar cast, it didn’t really add up to much. You’d have to watch this through pretty rose-tinted spectacles to call it a masterpiece. All the talent in the world can’t make up for a sub-par script, I suppose. Even the famous opening extended sequence, seen through the haze of the many subsequent homages and imitations, came over stagey and unconvincing. All those ‘extras’ waiting for their cue to walk into frame at exactly the right moment, took me out and I never fully got back in. I suppose some things are best left to the realm of sweet twisted memory where anything and everything is possible (star wars, I’m talking to you).

I do think it’s worth a remake though. I’m thinking the Dardennes? Something gritty and French, anyway. Give Depardieu the Welles role (c’est évident, n’est-ce pas?), rewrite the Marlene Dietrich character and, yeah, Marion Cotillard (I’ll watch anything she’s in). Francois Cluzet can take on Charlton Heston, and his wife (Janet Leigh) goes to Kristen Scott Thomas - French law stipulates that she has to appear in every French film made now anyway. So, sorted.

On a side note, my favourite Orson Welles moment is a TV advert he did back in '81 or '82 for the Milton Bradley board game “Dark Tower”. I’ve got it if any of you guys fancy a game!!

Score: 5/10